Yum Yum Yum. Srsly.
You made this up in the last 15 minutes of your Renaissance class because all you could think of was food. It's a night class and you never have time to make anything before going. But that hungry energy was transferred to your brain and something wonderful was made.
Makes 4 servings, you think
WHAT YOU NEED:
4 pieces of pork loin
4 oz blue cheese
2 green apples, sliced
2-4 garlic cloves, chopped
1/2 cup white wine
1/4 plus 2 tbs Lemon juice
A squirt or several of honey or maple syrup or a little of both
2 large yams
some cinnamon
some sugar
some butter
maybe some cream or milk.
WHAT YOU DO:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Boil big enough pan full of water for your yams
Cut a slice along both sides of the loin.
Separate the meat on the inside, making a hole
Set aside
Mix blue cheese, 2 tbs lemon juice and some garlic. Stir. Add some honey squirts.
Stuff into the pork. Add 2-3 apple slices (or more if you can).
Smear butter into a loaf pan. Sprinkle remaining garlic.
Stagger pork loins into the loaf. Pour remaining lemon juice and wine over top.
Pour over honey or maple syrup or both.
Bake for 20-30 minutes.
WHILE IT'S BAKING:
Boil yams until soft. Stir in butter, sugar, syrup/honey and cinnamon to taste. Do the same with the cream or the milk.
Puree those bitches until paste like.
WHEN PORK IS DONE IN OVEN:
Take out of the oven and pan fry the loins, pouring the saucy juice left in the loaf pan over them. Not too much!
Fry until brown. Smear yam puree over a plate and stack pork loin on top. Pour over some more of that juice and ENJOY! Oh, pour over some more honey of you really want that salty/sweet combo.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
The Long Awaited, Oh-So-Delish Dumplings
Ok, so it's been a little longer than you originally claimed for these babies. You were swamped with homework, which you know you said you would post DESPITE there being homework, but let's face it: grades are more important than a blog.
It was a rough week, you were tired most of the time and trying to play catch up with all the god-damned readings assigned. It's non-stop and 90% boring, so concentration is a must. Anyway, the recipe below has been tripled for a few reasons:
1. These save as long as they are frozen. Trust. You will want to have a tupperware container full of these in your freezer for your convenience. They are really easy to reheat, but the process of making them is a bitch. You have to be patient. It is recommended you have a partner in crime, but choose one who pays attention to detail.
2. Everyone loves these. They are great for all kinds of parties.
OK, so this recipe was adapted from a book called "Gluten Free Makeovers" by Beth Hillson. This book was given as a gift and is by far the most useful out of all the GF books you've been given over the past year. You can buy the book here. If you are gluten free, DO IT. There is the best bread recipe in there. If you're not gluten free, DO IT. There is the best bread recipe in there.
Anyway, like mentioned before, the recipe was adapted. The first time you made this wasn't pretty. There may have been some throwing of some flour, some angry yelling; things of that nature. The dumplings were fragile and prone to crumbling. You and your roommate (who sucks at making the dough, but rules at seasoning the meat/tofu/potatoes) ended up making a dumpling soup because they all fell apart.
If there is one thing you hate and are striving to fix, it's the crumbly nature of gluten free products. You think you are onto something.
This recipe is long, so be prepared. If you are making the vegan version with tofu, there are extra steps you will have to take, including letting it soak overnight. Otherwise, that shit's gonna taste like a box. Just saying.
WHAT YOU NEED (Filling) :
3 lb ground turkey OR Tofu OR boiled Potatoes
1/2 cup cabbage (chopped)
2 green onion (chopped)
3-4 garlic cloves (minced)
2 TBS Mirin Cooking Sake
2 TBS Soy Sauce (GF)
1 TBS Lemon Juice
1 TBS Lime Juice
1/4 cup pickled ginger w/ juice
2 TSP white pepper
1 TSP black pepper
2 TSP rice vinegar
1 tsp Sriracha
1 TSP curry powder (yellow)
1 TSP coriander
2 TSP cooking sherry
2 TSP sesame seeds
2 TSP red pepper flakes
2 TSP sesame oil
2 TSP coarse salt (sea salt)
WHAT YOU NEED (dough):
2 cups white rice flour
2 cups cornstarch
2 cups tapioca starch
1 1/2 TSP xantham gum
2 TBS Ener-G Egg Replacer OR ground flaxseed
ABOUT 3 cups boiling water*
*this is where it gets tricky. You probably won't use an exact measurement of water, just a certain amount to get the right consistency.
WHAT YOU NEED (dipping sauce):
1/4 cup GF soy sauce
2 TBS cooking sherry
1/2 TSP sesame oil
1 minced garlic clove
1 green onion
2-3 TPS pickled ginger (with juice)
A squirt of Sriracha to taste
A sprinkle of red pepper flakes to taste
Save this dipping sauce in a container and use it every time you make dumplings. It just gets better with time.
WHAT YOU DO (filling):
Mix all the ingredients together and pan fry in a large sauce pan until almost all of the meat is cooked.
For the tofu, mix together and cook, then put in fridge over night.
For potatoes, do the same as the meat, but leave out the cooking part. The potatoes are already boiled.
WHAT YOU DO (dough):
You're gonna need a food processor, end of story. Put the flour mixture into the food processor and process while pouring in the boiling water a little bit at a time. What you are looking for is dough-like consistency, not too sticky and not too dry. You want it to be pliable. Play around until you get it right. If you over water, add rice flour until it thickens up.
Wrap the dough in an oiled plastic bag or wrap. Take a little bit out at a time to make the dumplings, making sure hardly any air is getting into the dough. See, because it is mostly rice flour and starches, the dough will dry up. If you have to, wet your hands as you form the dough into little flat pieces.
Another way that you have not tested yet but will soon is to lay a sheet of wax paper on a flat surface and roll the dough out by spraying cooking oil on the rolling pin, most likely repeatedly, so the dough won't stick and make you want to angrily chuck it out of your 2nd floor balcony. This way, you can roll it as thin as possible (but too thin!) and cut the pieces for more even-sized dumplings. You've only ever pressed them out by hand and would recommend doing that, since it has been tested. But, if you're feeling adventurous, cover the dough you are not working with with a wet towel to keep it moist.
Anyway, press the dough out until it is a size you deem acceptable. Put in the filling, less than you think you'll need and seam it off. Repeat until all ingredients are used.
Now, what works on this end is to layer the dumplings between sheets of wax paper in a large tupperware container. Leave out however much you want to eat at this time, and put the rest in the freezer. The direction below on how to cook them can be applied directly to the frozen dumplings as well.
WHAT YOU NEED/ WAHT TO DO FOR COOKING:
-A medium sauce pan
-About 1/2 cup veggie oil
-1 can veggie broth OR The Tofu Soup posted a while ago without the rice or noodles added (yet). If you want to make a meal out of it, use the tofu soup recipe.
-Tongs. Seriously. They come in handy.
Heat the oil on MED-HIGH. Be ready: this shit is gonna spit.
Heat soup on medium right next to the oil
place dumplings in hot oil, but be careful not to let them touch because they will stick together.
fry each side until golden brown. Take out of oil and put in soup. Let boil for a few minutes or until soft.
Take out of soup and put back in oil. This is where the spitting occurs because of the liquid in the soup. However, it's necessary if you want nice and crispy dumplings. REMEMBER: YOU CAN ALWAYS STEAM THEM.
Flip the dumplings ASAP. They will turn brown quick, again because of the liquid. Take out of oil and place on plate lined with either a towel or paper towel to help soak up the oil. REPEAT UNTIL DESIRED AMOUNT OF DUMPLINGS ARE MADE.
Let cool for a few and enjoy! Remember to use the dipping sauce!
It was a rough week, you were tired most of the time and trying to play catch up with all the god-damned readings assigned. It's non-stop and 90% boring, so concentration is a must. Anyway, the recipe below has been tripled for a few reasons:
1. These save as long as they are frozen. Trust. You will want to have a tupperware container full of these in your freezer for your convenience. They are really easy to reheat, but the process of making them is a bitch. You have to be patient. It is recommended you have a partner in crime, but choose one who pays attention to detail.
2. Everyone loves these. They are great for all kinds of parties.
OK, so this recipe was adapted from a book called "Gluten Free Makeovers" by Beth Hillson. This book was given as a gift and is by far the most useful out of all the GF books you've been given over the past year. You can buy the book here. If you are gluten free, DO IT. There is the best bread recipe in there. If you're not gluten free, DO IT. There is the best bread recipe in there.
Anyway, like mentioned before, the recipe was adapted. The first time you made this wasn't pretty. There may have been some throwing of some flour, some angry yelling; things of that nature. The dumplings were fragile and prone to crumbling. You and your roommate (who sucks at making the dough, but rules at seasoning the meat/tofu/potatoes) ended up making a dumpling soup because they all fell apart.
If there is one thing you hate and are striving to fix, it's the crumbly nature of gluten free products. You think you are onto something.
This recipe is long, so be prepared. If you are making the vegan version with tofu, there are extra steps you will have to take, including letting it soak overnight. Otherwise, that shit's gonna taste like a box. Just saying.
WHAT YOU NEED (Filling) :
3 lb ground turkey OR Tofu OR boiled Potatoes
1/2 cup cabbage (chopped)
2 green onion (chopped)
3-4 garlic cloves (minced)
2 TBS Mirin Cooking Sake
2 TBS Soy Sauce (GF)
1 TBS Lemon Juice
1 TBS Lime Juice
1/4 cup pickled ginger w/ juice
2 TSP white pepper
1 TSP black pepper
2 TSP rice vinegar
1 tsp Sriracha
1 TSP curry powder (yellow)
1 TSP coriander
2 TSP cooking sherry
2 TSP sesame seeds
2 TSP red pepper flakes
2 TSP sesame oil
2 TSP coarse salt (sea salt)
WHAT YOU NEED (dough):
2 cups white rice flour
2 cups cornstarch
2 cups tapioca starch
1 1/2 TSP xantham gum
2 TBS Ener-G Egg Replacer OR ground flaxseed
ABOUT 3 cups boiling water*
*this is where it gets tricky. You probably won't use an exact measurement of water, just a certain amount to get the right consistency.
WHAT YOU NEED (dipping sauce):
1/4 cup GF soy sauce
2 TBS cooking sherry
1/2 TSP sesame oil
1 minced garlic clove
1 green onion
2-3 TPS pickled ginger (with juice)
A squirt of Sriracha to taste
A sprinkle of red pepper flakes to taste
Save this dipping sauce in a container and use it every time you make dumplings. It just gets better with time.
WHAT YOU DO (dipping):
Mix ingredients together, set aside.
WHAT YOU DO (filling):
Mix all the ingredients together and pan fry in a large sauce pan until almost all of the meat is cooked.
For the tofu, mix together and cook, then put in fridge over night.
For potatoes, do the same as the meat, but leave out the cooking part. The potatoes are already boiled.
WHAT YOU DO (dough):
You're gonna need a food processor, end of story. Put the flour mixture into the food processor and process while pouring in the boiling water a little bit at a time. What you are looking for is dough-like consistency, not too sticky and not too dry. You want it to be pliable. Play around until you get it right. If you over water, add rice flour until it thickens up.
Wrap the dough in an oiled plastic bag or wrap. Take a little bit out at a time to make the dumplings, making sure hardly any air is getting into the dough. See, because it is mostly rice flour and starches, the dough will dry up. If you have to, wet your hands as you form the dough into little flat pieces.
Another way that you have not tested yet but will soon is to lay a sheet of wax paper on a flat surface and roll the dough out by spraying cooking oil on the rolling pin, most likely repeatedly, so the dough won't stick and make you want to angrily chuck it out of your 2nd floor balcony. This way, you can roll it as thin as possible (but too thin!) and cut the pieces for more even-sized dumplings. You've only ever pressed them out by hand and would recommend doing that, since it has been tested. But, if you're feeling adventurous, cover the dough you are not working with with a wet towel to keep it moist.
Anyway, press the dough out until it is a size you deem acceptable. Put in the filling, less than you think you'll need and seam it off. Repeat until all ingredients are used.
Now, what works on this end is to layer the dumplings between sheets of wax paper in a large tupperware container. Leave out however much you want to eat at this time, and put the rest in the freezer. The direction below on how to cook them can be applied directly to the frozen dumplings as well.
WHAT YOU NEED/ WAHT TO DO FOR COOKING:
-A medium sauce pan
-About 1/2 cup veggie oil
-1 can veggie broth OR The Tofu Soup posted a while ago without the rice or noodles added (yet). If you want to make a meal out of it, use the tofu soup recipe.
-Tongs. Seriously. They come in handy.
Heat the oil on MED-HIGH. Be ready: this shit is gonna spit.
Heat soup on medium right next to the oil
place dumplings in hot oil, but be careful not to let them touch because they will stick together.
fry each side until golden brown. Take out of oil and put in soup. Let boil for a few minutes or until soft.
Take out of soup and put back in oil. This is where the spitting occurs because of the liquid in the soup. However, it's necessary if you want nice and crispy dumplings. REMEMBER: YOU CAN ALWAYS STEAM THEM.
Flip the dumplings ASAP. They will turn brown quick, again because of the liquid. Take out of oil and place on plate lined with either a towel or paper towel to help soak up the oil. REPEAT UNTIL DESIRED AMOUNT OF DUMPLINGS ARE MADE.
Let cool for a few and enjoy! Remember to use the dipping sauce!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Fried Yellow Bananas
Yeah yeah yeah. A post was sup(post) to happen last night. You are sorry. You had to watch a two hour movie in ten minute increments on YouTube for a class. It sucked, since your Internet thinks it's funny to load the video every few minutes.
Anyway, despite your friend asking to post an awesome dumpling recipe, you are not going to do that (sorry, gurl). Why? Because it is a collaborative effort between you and your roommate and needs another week to prepare for it. In other words, the recipe is LONG. But have no fear, next week you are going to post it in two, maybe even three varieties. Promise.
So, this week's recipe is short and sweet and a little oily. You made this up one night and decided it was awesome because it is both gluten free and vegan. Yes magic has happen again. *insert exploding sound here*
INGREDIENTS:
3 bananas, sliced
1/2 cup white rice flour
1/2 cup white sugar (not the kind whitened with bone powder, otherwise it ain't vegan.)
1/2 tsp cinnamon (if you want)
1/2 cup oil
One towel
Seriously, that's it.
WHAT YOU DO:
Heat oil on medium high
Mix flour, sugar and cinnamon
Coat banana slices with flour mixture
Drop into hot oil and fry until golden brown
Place on towel to help drain the oil
You can eat these hot OR you can freeze them for an hour. Both are pretty delicious.
ENJOY!!
**Next week: DUMPLINGS!!!!
Monday, January 16, 2012
Lasagna (Gluten Free, duh)
You are a big fan of lasagna and one day hope to learn how to make your own noodles, but for the time being, store bought works just as well. You decided to whip up this dish one day after seeing some gluten free lasagna noodles at Cub. Then, you proceeded to eat the ENTIRE THING with your manfriend over the course of 5 hours. It was delicious.
The key to this dish is the meat. The yummy, ground beef and sausage that comes from poor cows and pigs sacrificed for the almighty taste bud. Obviously, fake meat works well, too.
INGREDIENTS:
1 pound ground beef (or fake meat)
1 package of Medium Italian Sausage (or fake sausage)
1 package gluten free lasagna noodles
1 16 oz jar whatever tomato sauce you prefer
About 4 TBL red wine (CAB)
1 TSP rosemary
5 chopped garlic cloves
1 chopped red onion
1/4 TSP Oregano
Some olive oil
CHEESE:
1 8 oz package shredded mozzarella
1 5 oz package of goat's milk feta
1 4 oz goat cheese
1 12 oz container ricotta cheese
DIRECTIONS:
If you bought the kind of noodles that need to be boiled, start up some water. Yes, they make oven ready gluten free noodles. It is a miracle.
Anyway, splash some oil in a large sauce pan.
Heat it on medium and brown garlic before adding the onions.
Then add the meat. (De-skin the sausage and crumble it up.)
Add rosemary and oregano. Brown that shit up.
Add red wine last. You may want to go over board with it and double the amount listed above. In fact, that's encouraged.
Finally, add sauce. Yes, even though the meat is all greasy. It just adds to the flavor and let's face it, lasagna isn't exactly healthy.
Now, this is where it gets weird. Mix in the ricotta and goat cheese. YES, that's right. Mix it into the sauce.
When your noodles are ready, line a large casserole pan with a thinnish layer of your sauce mix. Add a layer of noodles, sauce and remaining cheese. Repeat until all ingredients are used up.
Cook at 375ยบ for 30-40 minutes or until the top layer is browned and bubbling.
Wait about 25 minutes before slicing into it.
ENJOY (even if it's the whole thing, no one will judge)!
P.S. Happy MLK Day, everyone. Peace, Equality and Tolerance are some of the most important things we as humans can learn and practice in our day to day lives.
The key to this dish is the meat. The yummy, ground beef and sausage that comes from poor cows and pigs sacrificed for the almighty taste bud. Obviously, fake meat works well, too.
INGREDIENTS:
1 pound ground beef (or fake meat)
1 package of Medium Italian Sausage (or fake sausage)
1 package gluten free lasagna noodles
1 16 oz jar whatever tomato sauce you prefer
About 4 TBL red wine (CAB)
1 TSP rosemary
5 chopped garlic cloves
1 chopped red onion
1/4 TSP Oregano
Some olive oil
CHEESE:
1 8 oz package shredded mozzarella
1 5 oz package of goat's milk feta
1 4 oz goat cheese
1 12 oz container ricotta cheese
DIRECTIONS:
If you bought the kind of noodles that need to be boiled, start up some water. Yes, they make oven ready gluten free noodles. It is a miracle.
Anyway, splash some oil in a large sauce pan.
Heat it on medium and brown garlic before adding the onions.
Then add the meat. (De-skin the sausage and crumble it up.)
Add rosemary and oregano. Brown that shit up.
Add red wine last. You may want to go over board with it and double the amount listed above. In fact, that's encouraged.
Finally, add sauce. Yes, even though the meat is all greasy. It just adds to the flavor and let's face it, lasagna isn't exactly healthy.
Now, this is where it gets weird. Mix in the ricotta and goat cheese. YES, that's right. Mix it into the sauce.
When your noodles are ready, line a large casserole pan with a thinnish layer of your sauce mix. Add a layer of noodles, sauce and remaining cheese. Repeat until all ingredients are used up.
Cook at 375ยบ for 30-40 minutes or until the top layer is browned and bubbling.
Wait about 25 minutes before slicing into it.
ENJOY (even if it's the whole thing, no one will judge)!
P.S. Happy MLK Day, everyone. Peace, Equality and Tolerance are some of the most important things we as humans can learn and practice in our day to day lives.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Tofu Soup with Noodles or Rice (or both if you're crazy)
That's right. It's gluten free and vegan. Minds are blown, magic has happened. You made this one lazy Saturday you and the manfriend spent watching "How I Met Your Mother" all day long.
What you need:
1 package of firm tofu
1 half chopped yellow onion
4-5 garlic cloves, chopped
1 TBS and 1 teaspoon lemon juice
1 TBS and 1 teaspoon Lime juice
3 tsp Lachoy Soy Sauce
2 tsp Sriracha
A cup of rice OR however many noodles you want
2 cans of veggie broth*
A splash of oil
1 green onion, chopped, for garnish
*make sure that shit gluten free. Once, you almost bought broth that's main ingredient was wheat. WTF?
What you do:
Start cooking rice OR
Soak rice noodles in cold water.
Heat a medium sauce pan on medium heat,
splash in splash of oil,
brown garlic and
sweat onions.
Add tofu, undrained,
then 1 TBS lemon, 1 TBS lime, 1 tsp Sriracha and 2 tsp soy sauce.
Let cook until the tofu is almost dry.
Add broth.
Add remaining soy sauce, lime and lemon juice, and Sriracha.
Add noodles OR rice.
Let boil, remove from heat. Let cool (otherwise, be prepared for a burned tongue)and sprinkle green onion over top.
ENJOY!
What you need:
1 package of firm tofu
1 half chopped yellow onion
4-5 garlic cloves, chopped
1 TBS and 1 teaspoon lemon juice
1 TBS and 1 teaspoon Lime juice
3 tsp Lachoy Soy Sauce
2 tsp Sriracha
A cup of rice OR however many noodles you want
2 cans of veggie broth*
A splash of oil
1 green onion, chopped, for garnish
*make sure that shit gluten free. Once, you almost bought broth that's main ingredient was wheat. WTF?
What you do:
Start cooking rice OR
Soak rice noodles in cold water.
Heat a medium sauce pan on medium heat,
splash in splash of oil,
brown garlic and
sweat onions.
Add tofu, undrained,
then 1 TBS lemon, 1 TBS lime, 1 tsp Sriracha and 2 tsp soy sauce.
Let cook until the tofu is almost dry.
Add broth.
Add remaining soy sauce, lime and lemon juice, and Sriracha.
Add noodles OR rice.
Let boil, remove from heat. Let cool (otherwise, be prepared for a burned tongue)and sprinkle green onion over top.
ENJOY!
Monday, January 2, 2012
Merry Christmas (and beyond) [Pork] Flautas
Your family does Christmas Eve dinner Mexican style and has done so for many a year. As long as you have participated in Xmas Eve, in fact. It is delicious and easy.
This year was the first year it was handled like a potluck, instead Grandma making everything. She had a stroke and some kind of surgery on her neck that made her look like a stab victim, so everyone decided to pitch in food-wise. You picked flautas because they are always made with flour tortillas in restaurants.
Remember, stars indicate possible modifications.
WARNING: This recipe calls for an over-nighter-marinade as far as the pork goes. Trust.
Ingredients:
About a pound of pork shoulder*
1 package of yellow corn tortillas
1 package gluten-free taco seasoning
1 pablano pepper
1/2 onion
1 yellow pepper
3 garlic cloves (biggish)
5 ounze of crumbled goat cheese*
1 lime
2 cups beef broth*
3 cups oil (your fav kind)
1 package toothpicks
*firm tofu
*leave out the cheese (if dairy-free)
*2 cups vegetable broth
For the pork:
Tenderize the shit out of that pork. You had the man-friend do it, since you made this at his house and he doesn't have a tenderizer.
Heat (at medium heat) a medium sauce pan.
Chop onion, garlic and peppers.
Brown garlic, add onions. Sweat for a few minutes, then add peppers.
Sweat a little longer, then add pork.
Add broth and taco seasoning. Stir and cover.
Let everything boil down until 1/2 the liquid is gone.
Cool, throw into a container and refrigerate overnight.
*if you are using tofu, you don't need to tenderize it.
THE NEXT MORNING/AFTERNOON/DINNER
Whenever you decide to make these the next day:
Heat oil in a large sauce pan on high.
Take out tortillas out of package and make two stacks.
Microwave or heat in the oven on 225 until very warm. Almost hot.
Take them out and keep them stacked.
If you don't do this, the tortillas will fall apart.
Skip if you are Vegan. Add goat cheese to pork or tofu mixture. Stir in well.
Using a spoon, spread about a teaspoon-1/2 tablespoon pork/tofu mixture to end of one tortilla.
Roll up, pin down with two tooth picks, and place in hot oil.
Make sure the toothpicks are only in enough to hold the tortilla together.
You can fit about four tortillas in the pan and it wouldn't me wise to add more.
Flip using a spatula and the toothpicks as leverage.
Take out when golden brown.
Place on a towel to dry off the oil.
When everything is used up and fried crispy, place in a baking pan.
Heat oven to 375.
Bake the flautas until crispy again.
Cool and enjoy.
They are best with home made salsa, guacamole and/or sour cream. Hot sauce approved of.
New Year's Resolution
You know it has been awhile since you've posted anything on this blog. No, it is not because you have stopped cooking and baking, it is because you are lazy and lack dedication to make this blog awesome. So, in lieu of the New and Final Year of the Humans, you are going to post a new recipe on this blog EVERY SINGLE MONDAY NIGHT, despite homework or anything else that might distract you.
Also, you are thinking some much needed restaurant reviews are in order, since you are gluten free and know of the places in Minneapolis-and-beyond offering up corresponding dishes.
So, a post will arrive sometime tonight fresh with a yummy recipe. You promise.
Also, you are thinking some much needed restaurant reviews are in order, since you are gluten free and know of the places in Minneapolis-and-beyond offering up corresponding dishes.
So, a post will arrive sometime tonight fresh with a yummy recipe. You promise.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Yummy Snack
You notice that raspberries are two for five dollars at downtown Target and purchase them. You also grab a carton of almond milk because you are low. That's when it hits you: when you get home, you are going to eat cold raspberries over almond milk. Sprinkle over a little sugar and you've got yourself a yummy, light snack.
So:
One package of raspberries, or however much you want.
1 bowl (any size)
Almond Milk
Sprinkle sugar.
Put raspberries in bowl and pour in as much almond milk as you want. I would not suggest covering the berries.
Sprinkle over sugar.
EAT!
This is great because it is GF, Veggie and Vegs and delish. If you hate raspberries like a crazy person, substitute any berry/fruit of your choice.
So:
One package of raspberries, or however much you want.
1 bowl (any size)
Almond Milk
Sprinkle sugar.
Put raspberries in bowl and pour in as much almond milk as you want. I would not suggest covering the berries.
Sprinkle over sugar.
EAT!
This is great because it is GF, Veggie and Vegs and delish. If you hate raspberries like a crazy person, substitute any berry/fruit of your choice.
That's All You Had In The Fridge Breakfast
Ok, so you were really hungry this morning and didn't have much in the fridge. You have a big project due for a class and you were supposed to be working on it, but also needed to eat for maximum brain power. You knew you had to eat something here, because the cafe you went to later did not have gluten-free options.
So after a quick search, you found eggs, onions, red jalapenos, parmesan cheese, salsa and corn tortillas. You went with this and made some kind of Mexican omelette enchilada. You hoped it wouldn't suck.
What You Need:
2 eggs*
About 2 TBS of chopped onion
Same for Red Jalps
Parm to taste
About 1/4 cup of salsa
2 corn tortillas
some lime juice
and some rosemary.
*Vegans, fee free to use (soft)tofu, but add some garlic into the mix to flavor it better. Obvs, don't use the parm.
Here's what you need To Do:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees,
sautee onions and red jalps with some oil of your choosing on medium heat,
Crack eggs over and scramble with spatula until cooked.
Remove from heat and sprinkle over parm cheese.
I also added a drop or twenty of Tabasco on a whim.
Meanwhile, rub lime juice over corn torts and warm them for twenty seconds in the microwave. This will ensure their flexibility.
Grab a flat pan, or a pie pan, whatever will hold the roll ups together, and grease it. Otherwise, the torts will stick.
Put eggs into the torts, wrap, place seam side down on pan, add salsa over top, sprinkle more parm over and rosemary and bake until you can smell it.
This filled you up nicely and it tasted great, so bonus for you.
So after a quick search, you found eggs, onions, red jalapenos, parmesan cheese, salsa and corn tortillas. You went with this and made some kind of Mexican omelette enchilada. You hoped it wouldn't suck.
What You Need:
2 eggs*
About 2 TBS of chopped onion
Same for Red Jalps
Parm to taste
About 1/4 cup of salsa
2 corn tortillas
some lime juice
and some rosemary.
*Vegans, fee free to use (soft)tofu, but add some garlic into the mix to flavor it better. Obvs, don't use the parm.
Here's what you need To Do:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees,
sautee onions and red jalps with some oil of your choosing on medium heat,
Crack eggs over and scramble with spatula until cooked.
Remove from heat and sprinkle over parm cheese.
I also added a drop or twenty of Tabasco on a whim.
Meanwhile, rub lime juice over corn torts and warm them for twenty seconds in the microwave. This will ensure their flexibility.
Grab a flat pan, or a pie pan, whatever will hold the roll ups together, and grease it. Otherwise, the torts will stick.
Put eggs into the torts, wrap, place seam side down on pan, add salsa over top, sprinkle more parm over and rosemary and bake until you can smell it.
This filled you up nicely and it tasted great, so bonus for you.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Left Over Crap From Last Night Noodley Dish
Now, let's just assume that last night, you made a version of chicken noodle soup that was gluten free and also kind of boring. Taste wise, anyway.
You were hungry, like always after class, and stoned because you got high with this guy in your critique group. He's the generous stoner type and likes to share his weed.
Since you're staying in Apple Valley tonight with the Man-Friend, you stopped off at Cub Foods (which you always think of as Safeway) by his house for supplies. You accidently (and kind of without caring) ate gluten earlier this evening and felt sick.
Though you took two gluten relief enzymes, you were still worried about what would happen to your body later that night and the next day. You knew it wouldn't be pretty, so you decided to make chicken noodle soup because it was lightish. Instead of buying rice noodles, you picked out a bag of bean threads because they sounded cool and weird.
You also bought a quart of free range chicken broth, because even though you eat meat, you still have a soul and want the murdered animal to have had some kind of comfortable life before it was killed. Add garlic and a white onion to the list, and you're practically done. You know you have the other ingredients at home.
So let's pause. You need to know what you need for this recipe so far:
1 QT (32 oz) Chicken Broth
A package (6) of boneless chicken thighs*
4 oz of bean threads
Three garlic cloves
Half cup yellow onion (chopped)
1 TSP rosemary
2 TSP soy sauce*
*insert your own alteration here
So, when you got to your Man-Friend's, which you consider to be a home away from home (even though it is, like, in the 'burbs of the 'burbs), his roommate's brother is playing a video game. Again. You do not say much to him because you are uncomfortable strangers.
So, trying your best to ignore the fact that your are trying to ignore someone, you get started on the food, heating a large pot you'd normally use for spaghetti. I guess I should have added this to the ingredients list, before. Here it is now:
1 large pot that holds a lot of crap, but smaller than a menudo pot. (If you have to use a menudo pot, that's totally cool.)
WHAT YOU DO:
So, you brown up the garlic, which you crushed before chopping,
and toss in the onions.
Add the soy sauce and stir.
Add chicken* and cook until done.
Add chicken broth* and boil lidded.
Take chicken out with some kind of fork product,
Put bead threads in broth and re-lid.
Cut up chicken into smallish pieces,
Stir noodles,
and put chicken back into pot.
Add rosemary and re-lid.
Boil. Boil. Boil.
Taste and then choose to eat or cook some more.
(if you're veegs/vegged, use pineapple and veggie broth instead of chicken. Also, add pineapple AFTER you add the bean threads, instead of in the order listed above.)
So, after going downstairs to the MF's room and wolfing a bowl of soup, you zone out on Bridesmaids. When it's over, you go upstairs to put the soup away, only to find out it has now become a noodle dish instead; the bean threads have soaked up all the liquid. This is dually noted for next time.
You put the food away and go back downstairs to brush your teeth. Then you smoke one last bowl and pass out. The MF doesn't come home until late, since he bartends, but when he does, he kind of wakes you up with a spooning-hug thing, which you think is sweet.
The next day, you are grumpy because the lady disease in upon you and you don't feel like making much. After another late class, you have to put gas into the car, buy a six pack of Bud for MF and pick up din-din. You decide to just make something off of what you made last night (the soup/noodle dish), because you are uninspired and pissed off you are not soaking it a hot bubble bath already.
Back at Cub, you pick up LaChoy Teriyake sauce (it's the only brand that is always gluten free). You also grab some beans sprouts, broccoli and green onions, too. You know you have the rest of the ingredients at home, so you high-tail it outta there, ASAP.
After making an illegal U-turn and crying in MF's driveway for no reason, you start to unload the groceries and cook dinner. You have a minor breakdown and tell MF you want to go home, because you actually think you do. He calms you down by saying, "And what, I'll fly to work at 6:45 tomorrow morning?"
Oh. Yeah. You share a car with him.
You forgot he has this test to take at work tomorrow at the butt crack of dawn. You realize you can't be selfish and are sorry, but still feel so irritated you have to smoke a bowl and drink a Garfield mug of wine before you can even get started on dinner. Otherwise, you will kill someone and (maybe) use their blood in the food you are about to make.
Ok, so let's recap on the ingredients:
Left over chicken noodle dish (which should be a fuck-ton).
A thing of broccoli
A thing of green onions
A 14 0z can o' bean sprouts
3 TBS Teriyaki sauce*
2 TSP Soy Sauce*
A squirt of Sriracha*
1 TSP Sesame Oil
1 Lime
Sprinkle of powdered Ginger*
*insert alteration here.
OK, so this is what you do with all your shit.
Steam or boil broccoli, cutting off those shitty ends. (Unless you like the stocks, then just chop them up and steam 'em with the rest, you fucking weirdo.)
Cut up 3/4 of the thing of green onions
Heat a big sauce pan OR a wok(if your lady friend was awesome like me bought you one for XMAS)and add oil, whatever the eff kind you want.
Add Teriyake sauce to the oil.
Add can of bean sprouts AFTER DRAINING IT(!)
and stir. Let heat evaporate a bit of the liquid.
Add left over noodley dish and stir more.
Cut lime in half and squeeze in juice. Do it Oprah style and bite that shit, it really works.
Add broccoli and 1/2 g. onions.
Stir, of course.
Add powdered ginger, squirt of Sriracha, and sesame oil.
Stir. Stir. Stir.
Cook. Cook. Cook.
Add rest of onions and turn off heat.
Let cool and eat with whatever utensil you feel like using.
Remember: If you're vegan (veegs) or vegetarian (vegged), this recipe can be made with veggie broth and whatever you want for the chicken substitution. You would highly recommend pineapples. And as far as you know, LaChoy's Teriyake sauce is vegan, unless the sugar they use is whitened with bone powder, as you've been told happens.
(Please contact the companies mentioned directly in your recipes for more information on allergy/diet information.)
Alright, so that's it. You did accidentally get drunk tonight, but are making up for it by drinking water and taking some vitamins before bed.
***Just so you know, alterations are all the ways you can ignore the recipe. It's meant to be an "insert here," kind of thing. If you're not glutarded, use whatever soy sauce you want, if you're veegs or vegged, replace chicken with something that isn't chicken (like I mentioned before, try pineapple), and anything with a star can be modified to fit your diet.
You were hungry, like always after class, and stoned because you got high with this guy in your critique group. He's the generous stoner type and likes to share his weed.
Since you're staying in Apple Valley tonight with the Man-Friend, you stopped off at Cub Foods (which you always think of as Safeway) by his house for supplies. You accidently (and kind of without caring) ate gluten earlier this evening and felt sick.
Though you took two gluten relief enzymes, you were still worried about what would happen to your body later that night and the next day. You knew it wouldn't be pretty, so you decided to make chicken noodle soup because it was lightish. Instead of buying rice noodles, you picked out a bag of bean threads because they sounded cool and weird.
You also bought a quart of free range chicken broth, because even though you eat meat, you still have a soul and want the murdered animal to have had some kind of comfortable life before it was killed. Add garlic and a white onion to the list, and you're practically done. You know you have the other ingredients at home.
So let's pause. You need to know what you need for this recipe so far:
1 QT (32 oz) Chicken Broth
A package (6) of boneless chicken thighs*
4 oz of bean threads
Three garlic cloves
Half cup yellow onion (chopped)
1 TSP rosemary
2 TSP soy sauce*
*insert your own alteration here
So, when you got to your Man-Friend's, which you consider to be a home away from home (even though it is, like, in the 'burbs of the 'burbs), his roommate's brother is playing a video game. Again. You do not say much to him because you are uncomfortable strangers.
So, trying your best to ignore the fact that your are trying to ignore someone, you get started on the food, heating a large pot you'd normally use for spaghetti. I guess I should have added this to the ingredients list, before. Here it is now:
1 large pot that holds a lot of crap, but smaller than a menudo pot. (If you have to use a menudo pot, that's totally cool.)
WHAT YOU DO:
So, you brown up the garlic, which you crushed before chopping,
and toss in the onions.
Add the soy sauce and stir.
Add chicken* and cook until done.
Add chicken broth* and boil lidded.
Take chicken out with some kind of fork product,
Put bead threads in broth and re-lid.
Cut up chicken into smallish pieces,
Stir noodles,
and put chicken back into pot.
Add rosemary and re-lid.
Boil. Boil. Boil.
Taste and then choose to eat or cook some more.
(if you're veegs/vegged, use pineapple and veggie broth instead of chicken. Also, add pineapple AFTER you add the bean threads, instead of in the order listed above.)
So, after going downstairs to the MF's room and wolfing a bowl of soup, you zone out on Bridesmaids. When it's over, you go upstairs to put the soup away, only to find out it has now become a noodle dish instead; the bean threads have soaked up all the liquid. This is dually noted for next time.
You put the food away and go back downstairs to brush your teeth. Then you smoke one last bowl and pass out. The MF doesn't come home until late, since he bartends, but when he does, he kind of wakes you up with a spooning-hug thing, which you think is sweet.
The next day, you are grumpy because the lady disease in upon you and you don't feel like making much. After another late class, you have to put gas into the car, buy a six pack of Bud for MF and pick up din-din. You decide to just make something off of what you made last night (the soup/noodle dish), because you are uninspired and pissed off you are not soaking it a hot bubble bath already.
Back at Cub, you pick up LaChoy Teriyake sauce (it's the only brand that is always gluten free). You also grab some beans sprouts, broccoli and green onions, too. You know you have the rest of the ingredients at home, so you high-tail it outta there, ASAP.
After making an illegal U-turn and crying in MF's driveway for no reason, you start to unload the groceries and cook dinner. You have a minor breakdown and tell MF you want to go home, because you actually think you do. He calms you down by saying, "And what, I'll fly to work at 6:45 tomorrow morning?"
Oh. Yeah. You share a car with him.
You forgot he has this test to take at work tomorrow at the butt crack of dawn. You realize you can't be selfish and are sorry, but still feel so irritated you have to smoke a bowl and drink a Garfield mug of wine before you can even get started on dinner. Otherwise, you will kill someone and (maybe) use their blood in the food you are about to make.
Ok, so let's recap on the ingredients:
Left over chicken noodle dish (which should be a fuck-ton).
A thing of broccoli
A thing of green onions
A 14 0z can o' bean sprouts
3 TBS Teriyaki sauce*
2 TSP Soy Sauce*
A squirt of Sriracha*
1 TSP Sesame Oil
1 Lime
Sprinkle of powdered Ginger*
*insert alteration here.
OK, so this is what you do with all your shit.
Steam or boil broccoli, cutting off those shitty ends. (Unless you like the stocks, then just chop them up and steam 'em with the rest, you fucking weirdo.)
Cut up 3/4 of the thing of green onions
Heat a big sauce pan OR a wok(if your lady friend was awesome like me bought you one for XMAS)and add oil, whatever the eff kind you want.
Add Teriyake sauce to the oil.
Add can of bean sprouts AFTER DRAINING IT(!)
and stir. Let heat evaporate a bit of the liquid.
Add left over noodley dish and stir more.
Cut lime in half and squeeze in juice. Do it Oprah style and bite that shit, it really works.
Add broccoli and 1/2 g. onions.
Stir, of course.
Add powdered ginger, squirt of Sriracha, and sesame oil.
Stir. Stir. Stir.
Cook. Cook. Cook.
Add rest of onions and turn off heat.
Let cool and eat with whatever utensil you feel like using.
Remember: If you're vegan (veegs) or vegetarian (vegged), this recipe can be made with veggie broth and whatever you want for the chicken substitution. You would highly recommend pineapples. And as far as you know, LaChoy's Teriyake sauce is vegan, unless the sugar they use is whitened with bone powder, as you've been told happens.
(Please contact the companies mentioned directly in your recipes for more information on allergy/diet information.)
Alright, so that's it. You did accidentally get drunk tonight, but are making up for it by drinking water and taking some vitamins before bed.
***Just so you know, alterations are all the ways you can ignore the recipe. It's meant to be an "insert here," kind of thing. If you're not glutarded, use whatever soy sauce you want, if you're veegs or vegged, replace chicken with something that isn't chicken (like I mentioned before, try pineapple), and anything with a star can be modified to fit your diet.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)